Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I'm Like Busy and Stuff

How the hell does anyone know what they want? Why? How? Who?

When I was young I figured there'd be a point at which I'd say: well, I've done it. That settles it. I'm doing what I love with the person I love in the place to be, and everything has fallen into place. In some respects that's true. But more broadly I've come to understand that I'll always feel some sense of dissatisfaction, if not with my plight, then with the world that revolves around me. (That's right, goddamn it! Me, baby, me!)

So we've passed a few more arbitrary demarcations of the passage of time.

I may be getting older, but my mind is becoming more agile. It better. My body certainly isn't.

The above picture was taken from, where you can purchase such oddities.


La Misma said...


Is it I then that keep saying there is an hour
Filled with expressible bliss, in which I have

No need, am happy, forget need's golden hand,
Am satisfied without solacing majesty,
And if there is an hour there is a day,

There is a month, a year, there is a time
In which majesty is a mirror of the self:
I have not but I am and as I am, I am.

Wallace Stevens,
"Notes Toward a Supreme Fiction"

vacuous said...

I know what you mean. I have made a lot of progress toward personal happiness and serenity by trying to live in the present moment. This morning I was looking at some trees, and they had a calming effect. Immediately, I thought to myself, I need to go out and buy pictures of trees and decorate the house with those pictures. My tendency was not simply to enjoy the moment, but to try to latch onto what I was feeling as a goal toward complete happiness in the future. Reconizing these tendencies and letting them go has been helpful to me.