Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Man Boobs


For a few years now, I've been working on my manboobs. Trying to make them bigger, firmer, more appealing. Yeah, that's right, more appealing. When I started working out, trying to get bigger, I avoided confronting my vanity by justifiying it as a necessary pursuit of a performer.

I continued to use that justification as I made my bi-weekly trips to the gym. It's not a bad justification, just not altogether true. It has also made me healthier, no doubt, and decreased my body fat: though my gut remains: a testament to the power of a greasy, fatty diet.

Now that my career as a performer is taking a backseat to lawyerly pursuits, though, I am forced to take my weight training for wht it is: vanity. After a good workout or a step up at the gym, I find myself before the mirror at home, flexing, sucking in my gut, trying to look as buff as possible. I spent a long time as a scrawny beanpole type, hunched over in slacker mode, trying to disappear. Coming to grips with pursuing better looks is a tough task. I've never been one to emphasize looks over substance, so this contradadiction in my personality is at least as hard to resolve as my NY Yankees fandom.

I can say this: the gym, especially running, but also weight training, is a fabulous mood enhancer. The endorphines. The use of the body. The testing of one's limits. The understanding that one can go much further past "exhausted" than one at first thinks.

And while I am vain, I am not desperately so, which I prove every time I decide against going to the gym. Biweekly is a slow way to increase muscle, and my periods of sloth often negate periods of growth. I won't be competing against the Chelsea boys anytime soon.

By the way, if anyone knows how to be rid of a gut without doing tons of awful ab work, let me know.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Be sure to let me know, too.
Running hurts.

www.187corporate.typepad.com

vacuous said...

A gut is actually the natural way for the human body to develop. The idealized male is a cultural creation and doesn't conform to the way the body actually develops. You can be quite healthy, have very low body fat, and still have a gut. As far as I can see, what's the point in trying to conform to a cultural ideal that arose more-or-less arbitrarily. I'm not saying that exercise is unneccesary. It is certainly desirable and neccessary to have good cardiovascular health. I just don't think the Flat Stomach is a particularly useful goal.

Now the question is, how much would I be arguing here if I actually had a flat stomach? :)

vacuous said...

A gut is actually the natural way for the human body to develop. The idealized male is a cultural creation and doesn't conform to the way the body actually develops. You can be quite healthy, have very low body fat, and still have a gut. As far as I can see, what's the point in trying to conform to a cultural ideal that arose more-or-less arbitrarily. I'm not saying that exercise is unneccesary. It is certainly desirable and neccessary to have good cardiovascular health. I just don't think the Flat Stomach is a particularly useful goal.

Now the question is, how much would I be arguing here if I actually had a flat stomach? :)

vacuous said...

I saw an eye-opening set of pictures in Harpers many years ago in which they published pictures of naked men in profile, taken from a scientific study undertaken in the forties or fifties to assess people's posture. I was very very surprised to see that every last one of them had a gut.

beckett said...

The marketers will not rest until they have ruined the male body image as thoroughly as the female.
There was a time when anorexic women were not considered attractive. Now, unfortunately, unless your bones are poking through your skin, it's time to start dieting.

Charles Atlas had a little gut, too.

vacuous said...

Ah yes, I forgot about Charles Atlas. He looks kind of chubby compared to today's body builders.

Rog said...

One incentive I use to keep motivated: Take off your shirt, go into the bathroom, and bounce up and down in place. If you can keep yourself from vomiting, you'll probably want to get to the gym right quick.

The Armchair Athlete

Gynecomastia said...

Gynecomastia can occur at any stage in a male's life. There are times when an adolescent will have man boobs throughout puberty and basically "grow out" of them as he gets older. This is usually attributed to a high body fat percentage that goes away with age.