Every once in a while I will read some of my writing from a few years back. It's all from a few years back. I haven't done any creative writing in a couple of years at least. Not a play, not a story. Shit, I can barely keep this thing updated once a month. Before this whole law school nightmare started, even when I wasn't writing, I was still creating. I acted, I directed. I did what inspired me. Now, I do what I am told. I do what must be done to get the degree, and to get the most out of a crappy situation. I even enjoy it. I like the challenge. I have some good friends. But I don't create. I write briefs. I write memos. I write papers. But I don't write. And that really sucks. I have always felt the urge to create art. Art is what has moved me, and excited me; it is what's precious about life. I want to be a part of it and create it.
But I need to do the law school thing right now. I think it was the right thing to do, but it is harder than I could have imagined.
I know I couldn't do it without Mrs. Beckett.
4 comments:
I know how you feel, B. Your artistic nature is a spiritual gift and problem that you can't avoid.
Good that Mrs B is such a support.--s29
Afterthought: the practice of true artistic or creative expression tends to be a terrific challenge, no matter what the circumstances.--s29
I'm sorry law school is such a slog. But I think you made the right decision.
A musician friend who is now becoming an investment banker told me: "You can't hide from art. It will find you."
Don't forget how awful the job we shared was and how that's the lot of the pre-big-success artist.
It is too bad everything comes at such a price, though.
Thanks, y'all. I appreciate your support.
Art is vital to me now more than ever. It is a window into the world I care about, and out of this strange, distorted place.
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