Friday, June 10, 2005

Why? Oh, God Why?

Smarter than whom? Than me. The goal is to improve, mentally and physically. To train the whole of oneself to face any situation. This is the key to living, right?

But I'm not so sure the constant push for self-improvement is all that smart. After all, if I constantly encourage myself to become "better," I am labeling the current version of myself as somehow inferior, thus hindering me in the present in order to brace for an unknown future. And if I'm focused always on some future version of myself in which I have finally attained superior intellect, I will never enjoy this moment. And if I focus on some future physical perfection, I will face escalating disappointment as I age and deteriorate. Either way leaves me old and bitter.

I tell myself to live in the moment.

Nevertheless, I want to be the best.

I want to be stronger. I want to be smarter.

I've been writing a character with Alzheimer's. Not the most hope-inspiring of afflictions.
Take a look at this chart to see if you have Alzheimer's.

Luckily for me, the title at the top here is not Cheerier.

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